You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
