My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
