im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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