By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
