my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
