So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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