Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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