it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
