If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
And my parents said I crawled through the house
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize