Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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