I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
