But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i drank out of a bidet.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
