No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
