My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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