did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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