My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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