that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize