"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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