Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
