everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
