You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
