Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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