Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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