Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
