We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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