I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
