is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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