wrigley field is MILF paradise
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
