I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
