So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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