He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Randomize
