I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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