absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize