I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
