So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
