South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize