Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
