spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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