I must be too annoying 4 u.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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