I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
