So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
