are you still at the devil's house?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I wear drunk well.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
