So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize