I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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