So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
