I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
