He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
