Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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