It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
