And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Jerry, you need to find god
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
