My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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