I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
