Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Mom said you looked used
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
