Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
