I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
