I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
