yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
